I’ve had myopia and astigmatism for as long as I can remember. I’ve been wearing corrective lenses since 1994.
I had never realized that there was something wrong with my eyes until the day I went to the now-defunct Glico’s (an arcade and amusement center at the mall that had rides, bumper cars, etc.) with my mom and younger sister. While we were in line for the flume ride, Mom told me to read the safety notice on a sign about 2 meters away from us. It was only when I told her I couldn’t read it that she knew there was something wrong. After our ride, we immediately went to the optical shop where they confirmed that I needed glasses.
Prior to that I had accepted it as normal that I always had trouble reading the blackboard in school. I used to get into trouble for not being able to copy notes as fast as my classmates could. Miss Salazar Slytherin, my psycho Filipino teacher in second grade, once threw my notebook across the room and told me I was stupid when I said I couldn’t keep up with her notes on the board before she had erased them. I never understood that not being able to see words clearly wasn’t normal and that something could actually be done to help.
The first few bespectacled days were a novelty for me. I got to choose a pair of gold wire-rimmed frames with a colorful cord to hang around my neck when I wanted to take them off.
But after the excitement of something new wore off, wearing glasses became a burden.
I wanted to play kickball but had to choose between being able to see the ball clearly enough to catch or kick it, and not having to keep my hand on my face to prevent my glasses from falling off. There was also the constant fear of getting hit in the face and having my lenses smashed into my eyes. People started picking on me for being a nerd (aggravated by the fact that I was constantly reading, was good at math and eventually had to wear braces as well).
In high school, I hated wearing my frames (vain teenagers!) so I opted to suffer through all the everyday blurriness, occasionally wearing my frames, and then only when absolutely necessary. I would always walk with my eyes on the ground because I’d constantly – unintentionally – snub people who smiled or waved at me because to me they all just looked like walking blobs.
It was a little better in college when I started wearing contacts, but with that came a whole new set of problems: constantly dry and irritated eyes, running out of solution, forgetting my lens case at home when I spent the night at a friend’s house and having to keep them in while sleeping and waking up with gross, sticky lenses in my eyes…
Most people with perfect vision just take it for granted.
However, my myopia also did some good things. For example, I learned to love reading books. That was something my limited vision could handle perfectly (I would hold the words right up in front of my nose) and I devoured them one after another from a very early age. I was reading Michael Crichton and Stephen King by the time most of my classmates were still getting acquainted with The Babysitters Club and Goosebumps. For this same reason I got very good at video and PC games, which in turn allowed me to grow up interacting with boys in a completely platonic environment. In many ways this gave me a lot of insight into the male psyche (and that always comes in handy when I’m giving advice to my girl friends!).
Most of all, enduring many years of impaired vision has made me all the more grateful and appreciative of the life-changing technology that is now available to correct it, the support of my parents who answered for half of the bill and are allowing me to pay them my half in installments, and God’s many blessings that have given me the means to pay for it gradually.
3 days after my LASIK surgery, I spent a few minutes this afternoon just looking out the window and marveling at how clear the outline of a leaf in a tree in our garden was. My night vision is still a little hazy but I get excited pointing out things that I can read: “Oooh! I can see the numbers on the wall clock!”, “Oooh! I don’t need to lean forward to read what I’m typing on my PC”!
Today we woke up to the news of the terrible school shooting in Connecticut. As heartbreaking as this tragedy is, it made me appreciate life’s simple blessings and realize how petty and small our “problems” really are. The fact that I woke up at all today is in itself a blessing, and to be able to open my eyes and see the world with clear vision…well, that’s just even more amazing.
My last and longest-lasting pair of specs, bought by my ex-boyfriend 6 years ago. I won’t be needing them anymore. 🙂
