I’ve missed writing. I abandoned my Friendster blog (which had quite a few readers) years ago, as well as my Multiply journal. As a result, I’ve kind of lost touch with myself emotionally.

My blog served as a crutch during some of the toughest times in my life. It got me through several breakups, career junctions, and my quarter-life crisis. I guess it makes sense for me to start one up again before my Saturn Return this year.

I got the name of this new blog from an old entry in my now-dead blog, Scumbag on a Mission.

 

Paresthesia

Pronunciation: (/ˌpærɪsˈθiːziə/ or /ˌpærɪsˈθiːʒə/)
Function: noun
Etymology: New Latin, from para- + -esthesia (as in anesthesia)
: the numbness you feel when your foot has fallen asleep.

OK, so maybe I tweaked this definition a little, but it is a little-known fact that paresthesia is that funny feeling you get when you’ve squished your leg or sat down for too long and you lose all sensation in that foot.

It gets that way because you’ve blocked off the feeling in your nerve endings or something like that.

And then you stop the blockage.

That’s when the tingling sensation starts. You know exactly what I mean, that prickly, strangely uncomfortable feeling that starts in your toes and spreads all the way up your leg.

It’s uncomfortable because your foot isn’t used to feeling anymore.

Confidentially, though, in a strange way I do enjoy this feeling. It just means my foot is ready to feel again.

From the numbness, the emptiness…

It’s coming to life once more.

This entry (written September 15, 2005) was referring to a new love interest at the time, but now I realize it’s also a good metaphor for the way I live my life.

Sometimes I feel as if I’ve lost all the ability to feel much of anything anymore.

Rage instead of frustration.

Sorrow instead of melancholy.

Ecstasy instead of contentment.

This is the stuff that makes artists great, and I feel that my lack of emotion hinders me creatively as well as personally.

So now as I start this new blog, I hope to rediscover all those things and so much more. You can tag along for the ride. 🙂