Step 1: Walk into stall.
Step 2: Close door. There is no hook on it so only one bag-free hand may be used for the following steps.
Step 3: (With one hand) Unbutton, unzip and pull down pants, and sit in the air to avoid germs (also, there is no toilet seat).
Step 4: Answer call of nature.
Step 5: Awkwardly avert eyes from neighbor’s butt reflection on the shiny floor and crouched silhouette through the translucent divider.
Step 6: Realize you forgot to get paper before starting.
Step 7: Maneuver hunched body into a twist and use the one free hand to attempt to pull a ragged length of toilet paper from dispenser cleverly placed above and behind the toilet.
Step 8: Use raggedy toilet paper.
Step 9: With the side of your bag arm, try to keep pants from falling to floor as you shuffle to the trash bin on the opposite side of the stall with your toilet paper arm extended.
Step 10: Gingerly step on trash bin pedal to open, being careful not to move too much or risk having pants falling to the floor.
Step 11: Toss paper in trash bin.
Step 12: With one hand, pull up, zip up and button pants.
Step 13: Wave hand in front of automatic flush sensor.
Step 14: Push flush button because sensor doesn’t work.
Step 15: Open door.
Step 16: Walk out of stall while trying to refrain from spewing obscenities.
