I’ve been receiving treatment for depression and anxiety for nearly a year and a half now.

I still have bad days, but the past year has been such a blessing in terms of learning how to manage my psychological and emotional baggage. I don’t know if I’ll ever be completely “cured”, but it’s been great to finally have the tools and support I didn’t even know I needed for so long.

Here are some of the best ideas, tips, and lessons I’ve learned during my visits to the doctor and sessions with my counsellor:

(Note: The following points are from my own personal experience and should not replace medical treatment where necessary. If you think you may be struggling with depression, please seek professional help, and/or confide in a trusted friend or family member.)

1. Meditation and prayer help a lot more than you can imagine.

Prayer is admitting I can’t do it on my own and need help. Meditating on God’s word helps me to free my mind from the noise and remember truths about who God is and in turn, who I am. Oftentimes when I catch myself thinking the worst things about myself: I’m not good enough, or Nobody loves me, or I’m garbage, those truths stop the downward spiral in its tracks. Psalm 139 is one of my favourites. I KNOW God is good, and that He loves me. On bad days, I just need to be reminded of it. At the end of the day, those core truths are what keep me going.

2. Find a person you can fully trust, and trust them enough to be completely honest with them.

I find that talking to someone who’s not normally around me all the time helps to provide a safe, objective space to discuss everyday events that involve my family, coworkers, and close friends. My dear friend and coach, Amy, has been an absolute Godsend. She’s someone I can trust to listen to me go on about my darkest thoughts, worst memories, and heaviest baggage, with zero judgment and challenging (but gentle) advice.

3. Medication is a tool, not the answer.

At the lowest point of my depression, I knew if I didn’t seek any kind of professional help, I might have harmed myself just to escape the darkness in my mind. I’m so grateful for my doctor at the American Center of Neurology and Psychiatry (they have branches in Abu Dhabi and Dubai) and grateful for the wonders of modern medicine that help me manage my condition. But once I started feeling better, it was easy for me to forget that there was still a lot to be done. I foolishly thought I was cured at one point and decided to stop taking my pills (without my doctor’s knowledge) – only to relapse in a terrible way. That’s when I realized that medication may have masked my symptoms – but by itself, it’s only a Band-Aid fix.

4. Your “good days” are when you should be doing your hardest work.

On bad days, even just getting out of bed to take a shower can be debilitatingly difficult. This is when it’s hardest to seek help, reach out, or take care of yourself. So on your good days, don’t slack off – gently push yourself a little. This is the time to be setting goals, making plans, and deciding what you want in the long term.

5. Set SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Timely).

For example, I’ll set three goals a week that touch on several aspects of my life that I find important and/or enjoyable, such as finishing a creative project, attending a social event, or starting a new habit. I have a little board over my work table at home where I write them out, and checking them off one by one is absolutely therapeutic. Three goals don’t seem too intimidating, and that feeling of achievement is amazing. After a few months, I look back on all those mini-goals and see just how far I’ve come.

6. Try to pinpoint the source of an emotional issue.

My boss says something critical of my work. Throughout the day as I try to go on with the rest of my tasks, I feel irritable, then start acting hostile, then explode over something completely trivial. Then I dissolve into self-loathing over my outburst.

Does this sound familiar? When I do a little digging after, I might realize that my subconscious had been having a monologue in my brain all day: My boss said something critical of my work. He must think I’m an idiot. I’m terrible at my job. Why am I even here? I should just quit before I get fired. My work has no value. I’m not appreciated. I’ve never been appreciated. I have no value. I’m garbage.

There is always something much deeper at the root of our emotions. Emotions are just signal flags. Pay attention to them, acknowledge them, and don’t be afraid to confront them.

7. Treat yourself with kindness and curiosity.

When I look back on a subconscious conversation like the one in my previous point, instead of cringing and telling myself I behaved like a crazy person, I acknowledge the valid feelings, ask myself ‘Why did I feel that way? What was really going on?’, and when I find the root – which is usually some blocked-out memory or recurring trauma – I hold that up against the truths that I’ve meditated on in point 1. In the light of God’s love, I’ve seen that many of the awful thoughts I think about myself are simply lies from the enemy. I am far from perfect, but I am loved and I am valued.

8. Allow yourself to have bad days.

It’ll happen. Before I started treatment, when I couldn’t even get out of bed, these days got worse and worse because I’d keep telling myself “You need to stop this. Get up! Do something. Stop wasting your life.” I wanted to call for help but couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone.

Now, I acknowledge that I’m living with a mental illness – and somehow, that makes it easier to manage. I’ll call in sick (thank God for my very supportive boss), let myself enjoy the comfort of my bed and sheets, eat some comfort food, and read my Bible. Depression is there – and it sucks – but I know that the wave will pass…and more importantly, God is with me through it all.

Are you secretly living with depression? Message me. I can’t offer professional help, but I can assure you that I’ll listen.