Last night was my last night in our apartment. It was Jesse’s and my first home together, and the last of nine homes I’ve lived in since I moved to Dubai thirteen years ago.

For the past three weeks, I’ve dug through and considered every single thing I’ve acquired and kept during my time here in the UAE, to decide whether to keep it or let it go.

An incomplete set of dishes that were hand-me-downs from my best friend, before she left Dubai, a month after I arrived.
The first piece of furniture I ever bought here (a RAST chest of drawers from IKEA that I custom-painted myself).
An old sketch I made as a designer at a fashion boutique (my first job in Dubai).
A team t-shirt from when I was a volunteer at church.
A dressing table with water damage on the bottom from when my room flooded during an epic rainstorm.
A Post-it note from a former ministry colleague, with a verse of scripture on it.
A scrawled crayon drawing of a vaguely human-shaped blob with “Ruby” written underneath, a lopsided heart scribbled next to it.
Meeka’s annual license tags, which I’ve been collecting since I adopted her in 2017.
A concert wristband from when I watched the Backstreet Boys in 2018 with a few friends.
A handmade cloth mask from when I was unemployed during the pandemic and had to start making and selling them so I could buy groceries.
Too many Emirates boarding passes.
Pendant lights in our ceiling that once belonged to friends who left the UAE years ago.
Jesse’s and my handwritten vows that we read to each other at our wedding.

To borrow a phrase from Miranda Priestly, it seems like just “a pile of stuff”. But like artifacts from an archaeological dig, they’re also remnants of a human life actually lived. Thirteen years went by in a blur, and yet these everyday items serve as concrete evidence of the full, happy, meaningful life I had here.

I came to this country with nothing but a single suitcase. I’m leaving with three 32-kilo suitcases, ten boxes of assorted items, a few pieces of furniture to be shipped, and a dog. As I prepare to face an uncertain future in the USA, tokens from the past remind me of God’s grace, providence, and guidance throughout my time in Dubai.

At church this morning, I ran into an American woman named Cheryl, who had a huge impact on the direction my life took, even though I wasn’t all that close to her. I told her I was leaving this week, and that it was my last Sunday in the UAE. I said, “I don’t know if you remember, but many years ago, you randomly came up to me after church service and said you watched me during worship. You said you felt I had a great spirit and that I would probably love volunteering. That conversation changed my entire life. I ended up volunteering in various ministries, finding family in the church, working on staff for several years, and deepening my faith. Thank you.” She shed a few tears, and we hugged goodbye.

Looking back, I never dreamed I would have the life I have now. I had my own plans, my own timeline, my own ambitions. I was miserable my first year here. I cried all the time and wondered how on earth I ended up here. I often wanted to give up and go back home.

And yet now I’m grieving the loss of things I could have missed out on if I’d had my way then. All the friends I wouldn’t have met. Experiences I wouldn’t have had. Lessons I wouldn’t have learned. God redirected my story in ways I couldn’t have written myself.

That’s really encouraging to me right now. This transition won’t be easy, but “…we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

I’m excited to see what he has in store.