10 years.
Today marks ten years since my last committed relationship ended. Just three days after a romantic Valentine’s Day date, my last boyfriend and I ended a nearly three-year-long relationship.
Ten years ago, did I expect to be here, single, living in Dubai, and working as a church office administrator?
Nope.
If you had asked me then, I probably would have predicted that in 10 years, I’d be married, running a successful fashion house back home in the Philippines.
No, I’m not where I expected to be, and I’m no longer the person I was back then.
The first two of those ten years were spent in a whirlwind of bad choices and drunken, hazy nights.
Three of those ten years were spent in seclusion, cutting myself off from the rest of the world.
Three of those ten years were spent in an epic internal battle with God until I finally admitted how much I still hadn’t surrendered to Him.
And the last two of those ten years, I finally learned what it’s like to have perfect freedom in Him.
No, I’m not where I expected to be at all: Content, yet open. Realistic, yet hopeful. Cautious, yet always up for adventure. No longer fearful.
I’ve made countless new friendships, found a new home, survived scary situations, and visited places I’d only ever dreamed of.
And through it all, in the many different versions of myself I’ve become over the years, only one thing remains constant and unchanging – the amazing God that I love and serve.
For years I looked for love in so many different places, then fooled myself into thinking I didn’t need love. Only in Jesus have I found exactly what I needed. Only He knows everything I have done and been through, and yet He has never wavered. It has nothing to do with how good I am (because I know I’m not), but because that is who He is.
No, I’m not where I expected to be because I’m no longer the person I was then. The kind of love I’ve experienced couldn’t possibly leave anyone unchanged.
Come and see it for yourself.
