And yes, I spelled that with a “U” because the groom was English.
I’ve been in a bridal entourage eight times: once as a flower girl, five times as a bridesmaid, and twice as a maid of honour. Yes, the saying “always a bridesmaid, never a bride” comes to mind, but I love being involved in weddings. Despite my outward cynicism, I’m actually quite the romantic.
Here’s the speech I did yesterday to toast the happy couple.
Hi everyone, I’m Ruby, the maid of honour and a friend of the couple’s — mostly Donna, but I guess Nick is okay too. Donna, Nick, it’s an incredible privilege to witness the love story that God has written for the two of you from a front-row seat.
For those of you who don’t know that love story, I’m going to tell you how it started. It began with one bad idea. One really, really, terribly bad idea.
Last year my friend Dilu had the awful idea to try to set me up with her friend Nick. I got to know him and could see that he was a man of faith, and that he was interesting and intelligent. But — and I’m 100% sure that he will agree with me on this — there was absolutely no chemistry. Simon Pegg really isn’t my type.
Then one day I was sitting at a table with a couple of close friends from my Bible study group, Janice over there…and Donna. Donna and I were “single sisters”. Janice is sort of our married mentor and so the two of us would comfort and encourage each other through our single struggles, taking turns to tell each other to wait on the Lord and occasionally moan about how there are ABSOLUTELY no “right” men out there. That day was one of those sessions. Then somehow Nick’s name came up, and if I didn’t know better I’d swear I had a moment of clear prophecy from God. Because at that moment my eyes went wide, my mouth dropped open, and I turned to Donna and said…”OH MY GOSH. NICK WOULD BE PERFECT FOR YOU!”
Over the next few months, several of us would conspire to get the two of them together, by inviting the two of them to “casual” movie nights…dropping hints about the two of them to each other…and almost beating Nick on the head to get him to make his move.
Once he did though, it was like magic. We saw how Donna softened Nick’s hard exterior. We saw how Nick took care of Donna and especially Hannah. A whirlwind romance, a quick engagement, wedding bells ringing…this was the stuff of fairy tales.
Of course, as you married people probably already know, fairy tales aren’t real. Issues come up when you plan a wedding. Life happens and suddenly things aren’t as “perfect” as they seem. And yet somehow they were both still determined to see this thing through. And here they are today, radiant as the sun and excited to begin their life together.
A couple of weeks ago, witnessing all of that got me thinking about love — because you know that’s all we single people do, sit around and think about love — and how the world sees it. Silly phrases get thrown around casually like sickly-sweet candy hearts: Love is a many-splendored thing, love makes the world go ‘round, all we need is love!
But what does that mean, exactly? …Being with someone who only makes us happy and never hurts us? Matthew 5:46 says: “For if you love those who love you, what reward will you have?”
No, love is when someone deeply hurts you and yet you choose to stay, to be reconciled, to choose to die to yourself daily. Love isn’t a bouquet of sweet-smelling flowers. It’s awful and terrible…and yet it’s the most amazing thing in the world. It’s what drives a parent to sacrifice everything for his child, it’s what drives a wife to stay with a husband who has been unfaithful to her, and it’s what drove a perfect, sinless savior to let himself be nailed to a cross for a world that rejected him. And THAT was anything but a bad idea.
Father, I pray for that kind of love in Nick and Donna’s marriage. I pray that You would allow the two of them to die to themselves every day for each other, and for Hannah and their future children. Be with them and guide them. When the waters are calm, or during the storms, be at the helm of their relationship. Let their life together be a light so that everyone who sees them will see You and know You. Amen.
Congratulations, Nick and Donna!
