I promised myself I wouldn’t say anything. I even kept off Facebook for 2 weeks just to keep from seeing any more of the hatred in my news feed.

Every time anyone said something about the upcoming Philippine elections – even family and close friends – I kept my mouth shut. I made it a point to not support anyone. I even told my own mother (who I love dearly) to change her profile photo because I was in it, and it had a yellow “Roxas-Robredo” banner running across the bottom. I made a mindful decision not to vote because: 1) Living in a high-functioning constitutional monarchy has made me so jaded about democracy lately; and 2) I frankly do not like any of the candidates and couldn’t be bothered to waste energy and emotions campaigning for these people. This was how I felt, and I made my choice. As everyone was so quick to point out: “If you’re not voting, then shut up.”

So I did.

This might have come as a surprise to most of you who knew me growing up. I’m not the kind of person who keeps her opinions to herself. I am but one of the many crazy, intensely passionate, opinionated women of the Abesamis clan. Do not think for a second that my silence means that I haven’t been reading the news or that I’ve just become apathetic. I am just as fed up, just as angry, just as frustrated as you. I’ve simply chosen to sit, listen, and serve humanity in a different way – a way that allows me to grow and change for the better. Somehow being still and listening to all sides without judgment has been more refreshing than trying to yell my case over the crowd.

A few weeks ago my Bible study group leader asked us to pray for the Philippines.

To be honest, I don’t like to pray for my country.

My parents raised me and my sisters to love our country, warts and all. Of course, it’s beautiful: the white sand beaches, the countless waterfalls, lakes, rivers and springs, the peaceful mountain ranges and brilliant coral reefs. But loving the land isn’t what loving the country is about. It’s always going to be about the people.

Lately though, loving the Philippines has been like loving an abusive, violent, drug-addicted, thieving, disrespectful child. And praying for someone like that is just too frustrating. And infuriating. And painful.

That day I finally broke down and cried as I spoke the words out of my heart and lifted my people up to God.

I asked for mercy, and peace, and wisdom. I asked for conscience, and conviction, and compassion. I asked for protection. I asked for enlightenment.

And above all I asked for change.

Not superficial change, I’ve seen that here. Oh yes, it’s peaceful. Yes, it’s orderly and beautiful and safe. But it still has the same disease that eats at humanity in every corner of the globe: the cancer of human nature. It’s a disease that no one can cure aside from God.

So I asked God to break us the way he broke his people when they demanded a ruler to save them. If that’s what it takes for people to know that You alone are meant to be our saviour, Lord, break us! 

We don’t need a change of government. We need a change of heart.

Okay, now I’m going to say what it is you’ve been waiting for me to say…who I think you should vote for. And I will.

Vote according to your conscience and your wisdom. Swallow your pride. Reign in your emotions. Forget the carefully-crafted personalities, mindless rhetoric, and empty campaign slogans. Think. REALLY think about the consequences and realities of what can happen should your candidate win. If you were interviewing this person for a job, and they behaved the way they did in their campaign, and showed you their portfolio, and read their references, is this someone you would hire? Essentially, that is what elections are.

Then make a decision. No one can and should take that away from you. Neither should you take that away from anyone else. If someone comes to a conclusion that’s different from yours, that does not necessarily mean they are ignorant, or brainwashed, or paid. You are not the only one who is educated, you are not the only one who wants things to be better, and you are not the only one who loves our country.

Don’t be so arrogant as to think that yours is the only opinion that matters. One thing I’ve learned from working at a church is that everyone has a story. That story shapes how everyone thinks, reacts, and decides. And if you insist on everyone agreeing with you (especially to the point of violence), then you actually don’t deserve democracy. Come and happily live in a place where you cannot criticize your government in public.

Though I have pessimistic tendencies, I sincerely pray that God has mercy on us and allows us to elect a good president on May 9. But if not, rest in this passage written by Paul in his second letter to the Corinthians, who were suffering great persecution:

Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Don’t lose heart. Look up. This is not our final destination.