Well, today I’m the only one left in our college group who still has her original last name.
The whole time at Shang’s wedding yesterday I had to listen to comments from everyone about being “left behind” or that I’m the only one who’s alone and how I should get a move on and find a husband.
Since I have no intention of getting married and don’t want to have kids, I had been expecting something like that already…so I had my comebacks all set.
Q: So when are you going to get married?
A: When a light shines down from the sky and a voice from heaven says “Ruby, this is the man I have prepared for you.” (cue heavenly angelic singing)
Q: Why aren’t you married yet?
A: Because I don’t think there is a single man alive who is worthy of me settling down for.
Q: You might look back someday and regret not getting married.
A: Well, in case I change my mind when I’m 40 or 50, there’ll be a lot of divorced men to choose from.
I had a lot of laughs seeing the shocked looks on people’s faces.
But on a more serious note, when I got home I tried to figure out why it’s so hard for many single women to handle being the only ones left. I believe I’ve seen the problem with a lot of friendships. It’s difficult for friends to feel genuinely happy for each other when they secretly envy the good things that happen to the others and not themselves.
The reason why I can feel true joy for each of my friends who is now happily (key word being happily) married is that I don’t feel like I deserve their happiness more than they do. I can feel ecstatic at their weddings and see their wonderful lives without feeling sorry for myself because it’s not about what would make ME happy, but about what makes THEM happy. And I’m sure they’re just as happy seeing me happy in my choices too (at least I hope they are! Haha).
Standing there on that little sandbar, watching one of my oldest, dearest friends exchanging vows with her husband under the rain was such a beautiful experience. I got a little teary-eyed remembering every fun, crazy, frustrating, sad and hilarious moment growing up with her culminating in this, the start of a new life for her.
Maybe when people say “mahabilin ka sa barko” (you’ll miss the boat) to unmarried women who are approaching their 30s, they forget that some of us are just content to stay on steady, dry land and wave joyfully at cherished friends who are about to take an amazing journey with their partners into the great, big unknown.
Message to the couple:
I love you, Shangy girl! Warren, please take good care of her. Don’t ever take each other for granted. And like I said at the end of my blog entry about Tin and Brian’s wedding…you’d better stay together forever or I will feel like a complete jackass for writing this mushy slop. Haha!
