I decided to record a cover of this song on GarageBand after hearing Ronnie sing it this morning.
Pastor Jim’s sermon today started with the word ‘hunger’. Most of us don’t know much about it. I grew up in an upper-middle class family in the Philippines – a third world country – and I was pretty sheltered until I finished college.
But there was a time in my life that I like to look back on to keep me grounded…the one time I actually went hungry.
I wish I could remember it whenever I eat at a nice restaurant, or sleep in my nice, comfortable bed. I often forget to be grateful for everything God has been so good to grace me with.
I moved from Cebu to Manila at the age of 20, and my first job was as a graphic designer for an ad agency. After paying taxes and the rent in my cockroach-infested boarding-house room, I had a measly PhP4000 (about USD84 or AED310) a month to live on.
At one point my budget was stretched so thin that I found myself one week away from my next payday with only 50 pesos left to spend. As most of that would go towards getting me to and from work, I bought myself a packet of Tomi chips, the cheapest thing I could find to eat that might last for a whole week. I kept it with the top rolled up and taped down in my bag, and every time I felt like I would faint from hunger I would open it up, take a few chips and eat them. Determined to prove myself independent (my parents were already helping me out a bit with rent) I refused to swallow my pride and ask for more help. The day my paycheck came in, I poured the remaining chips and crumbs straight into my mouth.
A few months after what would later come to be known as The Week of the Tomi Chips, I gave up on the creative industry and went to work in a call center. The money was definitely better and my life got significantly more comfortable, but another kind of hunger was starting to overwhelm me.
If you’ve been following my blog for a while (or if you know me personally), you probably already know my story – how I struggled with depression and thoughts of suicide, how I found all the wrong answers to my questions, how God picked me up from the gutter and showed me a life of purpose and meaning.
Today I thought about those two “hungry times” in my life and I finally understood why Jesus called himself the bread of life.
Years after it happened, I told my parents about The Week of the Tomi Chips and they asked me why I never called them to ask for help. It pained them to think that I went hungry when they could have easily fed me.
I thought about it, and realized it was all a matter of pride. Pride kept me from admitting that I needed help. Pride kept me from admitting that I had been stupid with my money. Pride kept me from receiving what could have been generously given to me. Pride kept me thinking “I would rather starve than tell my parents I can’t make it on my own.”
Not everyone has the privilege of having parents like mine, who would have bailed me out of a difficult situation like that. I’m not trivializing the reality of starving people all over the world. But what everyone does have is the opportunity to have a good Father who bailed us out of something even worse. He is the only one who can satisfy that kind of hunger. And because He is a good Father all we have to do is ask.
Matthew 7:7 says:
